Reservations ~~Let's Discuss This!~~

This is only my opinion so please let us all help another today and discuss this topic to help another alcoholic/addict of our forums

Reservations


First of Let us first start with a definition of this word in the aspect in which we are stating. 1. The act of reserving; a keeping back or withholding. 2. Something that is kept back or withheld. 3. A limiting qualification, condition, or exception: has reservations about the proposal



When I looked this up, I thought about the part where it said the condition of something. Which is in my own opinion the part that most of us addicts/alcoholics have. This made perfect sense to me when I took a little time to look back at some of my reservations that I have had through not only my life up until this point and time but also it made me look to see if I in fact have any reservations today in my life that would keep me from having continuous sobriety.




Such as, "Well if my Sister dies because of her health and leaves me, I might as well get high because she is the one that really made the statement which has helped me to stay clean up until this point. Why would I need to stay clean now if she is dead!" Or, "My children don't spend the time with me that I think that they should be so maybe I should just get high, no reason to stay clean if I can not have them more active in my life." Those things are the things that would be putting a condition on me staying clean. Once I do that I would be in a world of hurt because I know that those things are false even if they would portray to be true in my own head and my own thinking.

One thing is for sure that we need to keep our guard up on those thing that would have us to go back to the active addiction that we come from, no matter what that is classified as. Most addicts also in my opinion have a problem when it comes to the sex issue. Most don't want to talk about it either, however this issue is one in my own experience has caused a great deal of reservations within my sobriety. In my addiction the drugs/alcohol and women came hand in hand. Eventually the only reason that I would use is to have sex. That was one of the pleasures that the active addiction gave to me. I so many times would see someone who I would be attracted to and would end up going to get a bag of dope so I could in fact be more open with them and of course to seduce them into having sex with the dope. Most of the time it didn't work out that way but those are the reservations that I have had to come into grip with for my own clean time

Reservations can be anything and everything. The first thing we need to do is to acknowledge them and to own them as to who or what we are. Once we can do this, and only when we do this are we finally able to break free from them and than the process of recovery begins. Once we do get rid of those reservations or conditions, than and only than can we achieve staying sober Just For Today

Reservations to me are things that I keep in my mind and say maybe about.. Maybe I can use a different drug or maybe I can drink with no consequences this time or maybe I won't make the same mistakes. These were the reservations that almost killed me when I relapsed and realized that no matter what I could not have reservations or secrets.. Thanks for this topic and hope this helps..

[citychik]

Reservations can be hiding deep down, under layers of denial, I’ve discovered.

I honestly didn’t think I had any when I got sober. I knew alcohol had beaten me down to the point where I accepted death or insanity, or both to be my end.

Yet, after 3 months of sobriety I began to think, “maybe I’m not as bad as I thought.” rotfl. And “maybe I can just drink for one day, no-one will know.” I justified and reasoned myself into using. First a drug then a drink..

then all hell broke loose.

And it was worse because I’d tried sobriety, and I liked it.

Today I have no reservations about using, anything. I know I can’t do it..I’ve crossed that thin red line that most people have the sense not to cross.

I’m an addict, now, and forever. And as long as I don’t pick up a chemical I live happily and usefully…

[rusty zipper]

Reservations

Cafeteria-Style!

i'll take the burger and fries, not the steamed filet 'o sole!

hold the brocoli please, and give me grits!

the two step style...

or the dance, 1-2-3, 1-2-3!

clinging onto old ideas and thoughts...

think there is a major corilation to reservations, and conditions too...

we cant put either on our recovery and sobriety if we want to succeed...

Originally Posted by Angelily

Reservations to me are things that I keep in my mind and say maybe about.. Maybe I can use a different drug or maybe I can drink with no consequences this time or maybe I won't make the same mistakes. These were the reservations that almost killed me when I relapsed and realized that no matter what I could not have reservations or secrets.. Thanks for this topic and hope this helps..

This part was good because I truly believe that there it lyes within our minds and is actually a huge part of what CC said

citychik Reservations can be hiding deep down, under layers of denial, I’ve discovered.

It does come basically down to what is what I call the Vicious Cycle! The Cycle that controls our minds and our thoughts which than leads to the action or the no actions that we take. It basically for me is living in a state of DENIAL which will keep me from having permanent sobriety.

I have found how my mind still today leads me to that state of confusion if you will and like I mentioned above I have to keep my guard up against this state and call it on demand when it enters my head. The thought that maybe I can use again or it wasn't that bad. LMMFAO I have had enough lessons to know that it never gets better it only gets a hell of a lot worse. So for me today I have to keep in contact with others to help me to remember that. The best way that I have found out how to do that is to go to meetings where new people show up that are totally CRUSHED! A place that they help me to remember where I was and hopefully a place that I don't have to return.

Not having all the answers today, I rely on those people and the old-timers as well to guide me in a path that keeps me clean for today.

[rusty zipper]

pre-concieved thoughts about recovery, alcoholics and addicts...

about A.A./N.A.

comparing, not identifying...

i'm not one of them... i stil sleep in a bed

no jails yet, or institutions...

my liver aint ready to explode!

all are resevations...

and theres a slew of um!

instead of reservations...

how bout...

any lenghts!

While giving SRN a face uplift LMAO I have this particular thread linked from there to here on the topic that I gave my opinion on Reservations.

I clicked on the link to make sure it was all good which it was, and than I was sitting here thinking about *Reservations*.

I was wondering if I have truly gotten rid of them? I believe that I have and the one that comes to my mind is of course my Sister. Since it was her words that helped me to make a decision but more important than that, her words have given me the ability to take action also.

Although we never are truly sure if we have given up all reservations, we really need to be OK with what we have. When something does come up, example, *sister dies?* will I stay Sober N Clean? I don't know, I don't think any of us can answer a question like that until the time comes. However, if I do what I have been doing and talking about the mental bullshit that has been going through my head, and continue to do my meetings, keeping into action, the solution. I do have some hope today, that I will be able to make it through almost anything that could and will come up. It seems like to me IMO that the Program that I am learning how to live, is working well enough to keep me not only Sober but I believe I have been relatively calm during all of this here lately.

Sitting here and reflecting I can see a little bit of Progress. So for that I am happy.

After the meeting today, I kinda stuck around cause another member got me before I could escape and she asked how I was doing. Well so far so good. Been busy cleaning apartment, dishes, vaccumming, sweep, cook, trash out, exercising, meeting, face lift of SRN, etc. Yeah pretty tired right now, and am getting ready to shut down for the night. Good day!

OK leave the rest till tomorrow.

[rusty zipper]

vic

When something does come up, example, *sister dies?* will I stay Sober N Clean? I don't know

IMO, all the programs of recovery are really here for us for one huge thing...

if that time comes, and were faced with a drink, or a drug, or whatever ones addiction is, we have a choice...

do we make the correct one?

bottom line!

and some may say, well, if i do use, its my road...

so it is!

bumps, brusies, warts and all!

some dont make it back...

rz