As Bill Sees It - January

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As Bill Sees It

Personality Change, p. 1

"It has often been said of A.A. that we are interested only in alcoholism.
That is not true. We have to get over drinking in order to stay alive.
But anyone who knows the alcoholic personality by firsthand contact
knows that no true alky ever stops drinking permanently without
undergoing a profound personality change."

<< << << >> >> >>

We thought "conditions" drove us to drink, and when we tried to
correct these conditions and found that we couldn't do so to our entire
satisfaction, our drinking went out of hand and we became alcoholics. It
never occurred to us that we needed to change ourselves to meet
conditions, whatever they were.

1. Letter, 1940
2. 12 & 12, p. 47

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As Bill Sees It

In God's Hands, p. 2

When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when
we put ourselves in God's hands were better than anything we could
have planned.

<< << << >> >> >>

My depression deepened unbearably, and finally it seemed to me as
though I were at the very bottom of the pit. For the moment, the last
vestige of my proud obstinacy was crushed. All at once I found myself
crying out, "If there is a God, let Him show Himself! I am ready to do
anything, anything!"

Suddenly the room lit up with a great white light. It seemed to me, in the
mind's eye, that I was on a mountain and that a wind not of air but of
spirit was blowing. And then it burst upon me that I was a free man.
Slowly the ecstasy subsided. I lay on the bed, but now for a time I was in
another world, a new world of consciousness. All about me and through
me there was a wonderful feeling of Presence, and I thought to myself,
"So this is the God of the preachers!"

1. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 100
2. A.A. Comes Of Age, p. 63

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As Bill Sees It

Pain And Progress, p. 3

"Years ago I used to commiserate with all people who suffered. Now I
commiserate only with those who suffer in ignorance, who do not
understand the purpose and ultimate utility of pain."

<< << << >> >> >>

Someone once remarked that pain is the touchstone of spiritual
progress. How heartily we A.A.'s can agree with him, for we know
that the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, and
emotional turmoil before serenity.

<< << << >> >> >>

"Believe more deeply. Hold your face up to the Light, even though
for the moment you do not see."

1. Letter, 1950
2. 12 & 12, pp. 93-94
3. Letter, 1950

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As Bill Sees It

Can We Choose?, p. 4

We must never be blinded by the futile philosophy that we are just the
hapless victims of our inheritance, of our life experience, and of our
surroundings- -that these are the sole forces that make our decisions for
us. This is not the road to freedom. We have to believe that we can
really choose.

<< << << >> >> >>

"As active alcoholics, we lost our ability to choose whether we would
drink. We were the victims of a compulsion which seemed to decree
that we must go on with our own destruction.

"Yet we finally did make choices that brought about our recovery. We
came to believe that alone we were powerless over alcohol. This was
surely a choice, and a most difficult one. We came to believe that a
Higher Power could restore us to sanity when we became willing to
practice A.A.'s Twelve Steps.

"In short, we chose to 'become willing,' and no better choice did we ever
make."

1. Grapevine, November 1960
2. Letter, 1966

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As Bill Sees It

Maintenance and Growth, p. 5

It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility
and unhappiness. To the precise extent we permit these, do we squander
the hours that might have been worthwhile. But with the alcoholic,
whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this
business of harboring resentment is infinitely grave. For then we shut
ourselves off from the sunlight of the spirit. The insanity of alcohol
returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die.

If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the
sudden rage were not for us. Anger is the dubious luxury of normal
men, but for us alcoholics it is poison.

Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 66
Letter, 1962

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As Bill Sees It

All or Nothing?, p. 6

Acceptance and faith are capable of producing 100 percent sobriety. In
fact, they usually do; and they must, else we could have no life at all. But
the moment we carry these attitudes into our emotional problems, we
find that only relative results are possible. Nobody can, for example,
become completely free from fear, anger and pride.

Hence, in this life we shall attain nothing like perfect humility and love.
So we shall have to settle, respecting most of our problems, for a very
gradual progress, punctuated sometimes by heavy setbacks. Our
oldtime attitude of "all or nothing" will have to be abandoned.

Grapevine, March 1962

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As Bill Sees It

The Realm Of The Spirit, p. 7

In ancient times material progress was painfully slow. The spirit of
modern science inquiry, research, and invention was almost unknown.

In the realm of the material, men's minds were fettered by
superstition, tradition, and all sorts of fixed ideas. Some of the
contemporaries of Columbus thought a round earth preposterous.
Others came near putting Galileo to death for his astronomical
heresies.

Are not some of us just as biased and unreasonable about the realm of
the spirit as were the ancients about the realm of the material?

<< << << >> >> >>

We have found that God does not make too hard terms with those who
seek Him. To us, the realm of spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive,
never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. It is open,
we believe, to all men.

Alcoholics Anonymous
1. p. 51
2. p. 46

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As Bill Sees It

A New Life, p. 8

Is sobriety all that we are to expect of a spiritual awakening? No,
sobriety is only a bare beginning; it is only the first gift of the first
awakening. If more gifts are to be received, our awakening has to go
on. As it does go on, we find that bit by bit we can discard the old
life--the one that did not work--for a new life that can and does work
under any conditions whatever.

Regardless of worldly success or failure, regardless of pain or joy,
regardless of sickness or health or even of death itself, a new life of
endless possibilities can be lived if we are willing to continue our
awakening, through the practice of A.A.'s Twelve Steps.

Grapevine, December 1957

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As Bill Sees It

Group and World-Wide Community, p. 9

The moment Twelfth Step work forms a group, a discovery is
made--that most individuals cannot recover unless there is a group.
Realization dawns on each member that he is but a small part of a
great whole; that no personal sacrifice is too great for preservation of
the Fellowship. He learns that the clamor of desires and ambitions
within him must be silenced whenever these could damage the group.

It becomes plain that the group must survive or the individual will not.

<< << << >> >> >>

"The Lone member at sea, the A.A. at war in a far land--all these
members know that they belong to A.A.'s world-wide community, that
theirs is only a physical separation, that their fellows may be as near
as the next port of call. Ever so importantly, they are certain that God's
grace is just as much with them on the high seas or the lonely outpost
as it is with them at home."

1. 12 & 12, p. 130
2. Letter, 1966

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As Bill Sees It

Out Of The Dark, p. 10

Self searching is the means by which we bring new vision, action, and grace
to bear upon the dark and negative side of our natures. With it comes the
development of that kind of humility that makes it possible for us to receive
God's help. Yet it is only a step. We will want to go further.

We will want the good that is in us all, even in the worst of us, to flower and
grow. But first of all we shall want sunlight, nothing much can grow in the dark.
Meditation is our step out into the sun.

************ ********* *******

"A clear light seems to fall upon us all--when we open our eyes. Since our
blindness is caused by our own defects, we must first deeply realize what
they are. Constructive meditation is the first requirement for each new step
in our spiritual growth."

1. Twelve And Twelve, p. 98
2. Letter, 1946

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As Bill Sees It

Quantity or Quality, p. 11

"About this slip business--I would not be too discouraged. I think you
are suffering a great deal from a needless guilt. For some reason or
other, the Lord has laid out tougher paths for some of us, and I guess
you are treading one of them. God is not asking us to be successful. He
is only asking us to try to be. That, you surely are doing, and have been
doing. So I would not stay away from A.A. through any feeling of
discouragement or shame. It's just the place you should be. Why don't
you try just as a member? You don't have to carry the whole A.A. on
your back, you know!

"It is not always the quantity of good things that you do, it is also the
quality that counts.

"Above all, take it one day at a time."

Letter, 1958

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As Bill Sees It

Seeking Fool's Gold, p. 12

Pride is the basic breeder of most human difficulties, the chief block to
true progress. Pride lures us into making demands upon ourselves or
upon others which cannot be met without perverting or misusing our
God-given instincts. When the satisfaction of our instincts for sex,
security, and a place in society becomes the primary object of our lives,
then pride steps in to justify our excesses.

<< << << >> >> >>

I may attain "humility for today" only to the extent that I am able to
avoid the bog of guilt and rebellion on one hand and, on the other hand,
that fair but deceiving land which is strewn with the fool's-gold coins of
pride. This is how I can find and stay on the highroad to humility, which
lies between these extremes. Therefore, a constant inventory which can
reveal when I am off the road is always in order.

1. 12 & 12, pp. 48-49
2. Grapevine, June 1961

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As Bill Sees It

The Shared Gift, p. 13

A.A. is more than a set of principles; it is a society of alcoholics in
action. We must carry the message, else we ourselves can wither and
those who haven't been given the truth may die.

<< << << >> >> >>

Faith is more than our greatest gift; its sharing with others is our
greatest responsibility. May we of A.A. continually seek the wisdom
and the willingness by which we may well fulfill that immense trust
which the Giver of all perfect gifts has placed in our hands.

1. Service Manual, p. 5
2. Grapevine, April 1961

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As Bill Sees It

Newcomer Problems, p. 14

The temptation is to become rather possessive of newcomers.
Perhaps we try to give them advice about their affairs which we aren't
really competent to give or ought not give at all. Then we are hurt
and confused when the advice is rejected, or when it is accepted and
brings still greater confusion.

<< << << >> >> >>

"You can't make a horse drink water if he still prefers beer or is too
crazy to know what he does want. Set a pail of water beside him, tell
him how good it is and why, and leave him alone.

"If people really want to get drunk, there is, so far as I know, no way
stopping this--so leave them alone and let them get drunk. But don't
exclude them from the water pail, either."

1. 12 & 12, p. 111
2. Letter, 1942

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As Bill Sees It

Eternal Values, p. 15

Many people will have no truck at all with absolute spiritual values.
Perfectionists, they say, are either full of conceit because they fancy they
have reached some impossible goal, or else they are swamped in
self-condemnation because they have not done so.

Yet I think that we should not hold this view. It is not the fault of great
ideas that they are sometimes misused and so become shallow excuses
for guilt, rebellion, and pride. On the contrary, we cannot grow very
much unless we constantly try to envision what the eternal spiritual
values are.

<< << << >> >> >>

"Day by day, we try to move a little toward God's perfection. So we
need not be consumed by maudlin guilt for failure to achieve His likeness
and image by Thursday next. Progress is our aim, and His perfection is
the beacon, light-years away, that draws us on."

1. Grapevine, June 1961
2. Letter, 1966

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As Bill Sees It

Never Again!, p. 16

"Most people feel more secure on the twenty-four- hour basis than
they do in the resolution that they will never drink again. Most of
them have broken too many resolutions. It's really a matter of
personal choice; every A.A. has the privilege of interpreting the
program as he likes.

"Personally, I take the attitude that I intend never to drink again.
This is somewhat different from saying, 'I will never drink again.' The
latter attitude sometimes gets people in trouble because it is
undertaking on a personal basis to do what we alcoholics never could
do. It is too much an act of will and leaves too little room for the idea
that God will release us from the drink obsession provided we follow
the A.A. program."

Letter, 1949

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As Bill Sees It

Toward Honesty, p. 17

The perverse wish to hide a bad motive underneath a good one
permeates human affairs from top to bottom. This subtle and elusive
kind of selfish-righteousne ss can underlie the smallest act or thought.
Learning daily to spot, admit, and correct these flaws is the essence of
character-building and good living.

<< << << >> >> >>

The deception of others is nearly always rooted in the deception of
ourselves.

<< << << >> >> >>

Somehow, being alone with God doesn't seem as embarrassing as
facing up to another person. Until we actually sit down and talk aloud
about what we have so long hidden, our willingness to clean house is
still largely theoretical. When we are honest with another person, it
confirms that we have been honest with ourselves and with God.

1. 12 & 12, pp. 94-95
2. Grapevine, August 1961
3. 12 & 12, p. 60

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As Bill Sees It

Companion and Partner, p. 18

"Dr. Bob was my constant companion and partner in the great A.A.
adventure. As the physician and great human being he was, he chose
work with others as his prime A.A. vocation and achieved a record
which, in quantity and in quality, none will ever surpass. Assisted by the
incomparable Sister Ignatia at St. Thomas Hospital in Akron,
he--without charge--medically treated and spiritually infused five
thousand sufferers.

"In all the stress and strain of A.A.'s pioneering time, no hard word ever
passed between us. For this, I can thankfully say that the credit was all
his."

<< << << >> >> >>

I took my leave of Dr. Bob, knowing that he was to undergo a serious
operation. The old, broad smile was on his face as he said almost
jokingly, "Remember, Bill, let's not louse this thing up. Let's keep it
simple!" I turned away, unable to say a word. That was the last time I
ever saw him.

1. Letter, 1966
2. A.A. Comes Of Age, p. 214

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As Bill Sees It

The Wine Of Success, p. 19

Disagreeable or unexpected problems are not the only ones that call for
self-control. We must be quite as careful when we begin to achieve
some measure of importance and material success. For no people have
ever loved personal triumphs more than we have loved them; we drank
of success as of a wine which could never fail to make us feel elated.
Blinded by prideful self-confidence, we were apt to play the big shot.

Now that we're in A.A. and sober, winning back the esteem of our
friends and business associates, we find that we still need to exercise
special vigilance. As an insurance against the dangers of big-shot-ism,
we can often check ourselves by remembering that we are today sober
only by the grace of God and that any success we may be having is far
more His success than ours.

12 & 12, pp. 91-92

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As Bill Sees It

Light From A Prayer, p. 20

"God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the
courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the
difference."

<< << << >> >> >>

We treasure our "Serenity Prayer" because it brings a new light to us
that can dissipate our oldtime and nearly fatal habit of fooling
ourselves.

In the radiance of this prayer we see that defeat, rightly accepted,
need be no disaster. We now know that we do not have to run away,
nor ought we again try to overcome adversity by still another
bulldozing drive that can only push up obstacles before us faster than
they can be taken down.

Grapevine, March 1962