Disconnected

04-30-2008, 05:45 PM

That is what I am right now! I am feeling so disconnected from almost everything and it is really a struggle right now at this moment. I just posted about it on my junkie blog, I talked about it at the meeting which I drove around and around before I decided to even stop and go in.

Ughhhh

Not sure what is going on and I guess that doesn't really matter. Of course it is in my mind. That is the most dangerous part of my body!

I have also been doing a lot of practice practice practice BS that the program teaches us to do and maybe it is the feeling that I don't feel like I have a relationship with a HP anymore. Here lately I have been feeling really disconnected from that also. But tonight OMG it is really hard for me to even keep trudging that damn road. I just know that I am not in a good spot in my head.

I don't think that I am thinking of a relapse, but like they say a relapse usually happens way before we pick up so I come here to this forum the mental one because I know that I am mental! I know that I have a lot of issues not only mentally but physically. However my physical part seems to be doing a lot better day and day. I am happy for that!

Today I was thinking ya know I am sick and ****ing tired of having to wear that damn oxygen hose around all the time. Have to drag it with me even to bed, get tired of having that damn plastic shit in my nose also. Hell I should be grateful that I am even alive! OK this almost sounds like a hell of a lot of self pity BS and yeah maybe it is but ya know what it is mine LOL

Well shit don't seem like this is helping my attitude either. Ughhh. What next?

Yeah maybe a kick in the ass

citychik · 05-01-2008, 12:04 AM

Gee Vic, I don't know what to say except imagine having that damm plastic shit in your nose, and a meth habit.

now I'm off and running with it

so, imagine...

dragging the oxygen cylinder and hose round to the dealers..

it's a feeling, a dammed annoying one but it'll pass.

rusty zipper · 05-01-2008, 04:00 AM

hey rightarm...

what always works for me is put'n it to paper!

yep, good ol'e step 4

i get a good look at what the real fears are all about!

and when i do, it always looks so silly, then iget my Power That Be connection back in a flash!

ohoh, i get it out to Bigfoot! (sponser)

the step 5 bit!

then we have a good laugh!

lol, i see i'm stil breezy!

didn't know that stays after log'n off!

hope ya feel'n better in the head?

eek!, plastic in the nose...

hey, better then other crap in the nose!

05-02-2008, 03:57 AM

Thanks everyone and like they say that this too will pass....

I found myself yesterday giving the Power's to be the gracious healing of my body and givin a witness to my Sister that it was them Power's that are healing me and making me better.

So right than and there I knew that even though I don't always feel like I am connected....

I probably am just my silly thinking ya know

That vicious cycle.

ughhhh

Grateful and feeling better....knowing that there will be times still that I will probably feel that way again.

citychik · 05-02-2008, 06:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chance

So right than and there I knew that even though I don't always feel like I am connected....

I probably am just my silly thinking ya know

Exactly Vic, I So relate to your posts!

Just tonight I finally understood about "getting myself out of the way,"

and the connection was there, it's always there.

04-30-2008, 05:45 PM	#1
Chance Guest Posts: n/a	Disconnected That is what I am right now! I am feeling so disconnected from almost everything and it is really a struggle right now at this moment. I just posted about it on my junkie blog, I talked about it at the meeting which I drove around and around before I decided to even stop and go in. Ughhhh Not sure what is going on and I guess that doesn't really matter. Of course it is in my mind. That is the most dangerous part of my body! I have also been doing a lot of practice practice practice BS that the program teaches us to do and maybe it is the feeling that I don't feel like I have a relationship with a HP anymore. Here lately I have been feeling really disconnected from that also. But tonight OMG it is really hard for me to even keep trudging that damn road. I just know that I am not in a good spot in my head. I don't think that I am thinking of a relapse, but like they say a relapse usually happens way before we pick up so I come here to this forum the mental one because I know that I am mental! I know that I have a lot of issues not only mentally but physically. However my physical part seems to be doing a lot better day and day. I am happy for that! Today I was thinking ya know I am sick and ****ing tired of having to wear that damn oxygen hose around all the time. Have to drag it with me even to bed, get tired of having that damn plastic shit in my nose also. Hell I should be grateful that I am even alive! OK this almost sounds like a hell of a lot of self pity BS and yeah maybe it is but ya know what it is mine LOL Well shit don't seem like this is helping my attitude either. Ughhh. What next? Yeah maybe a kick in the ass

05-01-2008, 12:04 AM	#2
citychik Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: somewhere in the silver lining Posts: 1,627 Thanks: 3,699 Thanked 2,312 Times in 1,295 Posts My Mood:	Gee Vic, I don't know what to say except imagine having that damm plastic shit in your nose, and a meth habit. now I'm off and running with it so, imagine... dragging the oxygen cylinder and hose round to the dealers.. it's a feeling, a dammed annoying one but it'll pass. __________________ " Love has no Calories." Last edited by citychik; 05-01-2008 at 12:07 AM.

05-01-2008, 04:00 AM	#3
rusty zipper Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 3,127 Thanks: 5,773 Thanked 5,544 Times in 2,761 Posts My Mood:	hey rightarm... what always works for me is put'n it to paper! yep, good ol'e step 4 i get a good look at what the real fears are all about! and when i do, it always looks so silly, then iget my Power That Be connection back in a flash! ohoh, i get it out to Bigfoot! (sponser) the step 5 bit! then we have a good laugh! lol, i see i'm stil breezy! didn't know that stays after log'n off! hope ya feel'n better in the head? eek!, plastic in the nose... hey, better then other crap in the nose! __________________ *Rule 62*

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05-02-2008, 03:57 AM	#4
Chance Guest Posts: n/a	Thanks everyone and like they say that this too will pass.... I found myself yesterday giving the Power's to be the gracious healing of my body and givin a witness to my Sister that it was them Power's that are healing me and making me better. So right than and there I knew that even though I don't always feel like I am connected.... I probably am just my silly thinking ya know That vicious cycle. ughhhh Grateful and feeling better....knowing that there will be times still that I will probably feel that way again.

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