Wisdom of the Rooms (Weekly)- 2012

**yukonm** · 01-04-2012, 07:09 PM

January 3, 2012

"God handed me the menu. He didn't tell me to choose the shit sandwich."

This quote seemed appropriate for the New Year because it reminds me that in recovery, with a relationship with a Higher Power, I have a world of opportunities open to me. In meetings every week I hear others share about going back to school, or changing careers, or starting a family - all miracles of recovery and all part of the new life available through the program.

This quote also reminds me that while there are many new and wondrous opportunities available, it is still up to me to choose the right path. Do I choose to work my program today, to turn my will and my life over and pray for and try to do God's will? Or do I stay isolated, not go to a meeting, drink too much coffee and spend my time regretting the past and fearing the future? What do I do with the menu God gives me each day?

As I look towards the New Year ahead, I have an overwhelming feeling of possibility and hope as I acknowledge with gratitude the new menu of life I've been given in recovery. I make resolutions to make better choices, and I ask God to guide me and to release me from the character defects that lead me to reach for the wrong kind of sandwich. Today I will use my power of choice to make this year the best one yet.

**yukonm** · 01-11-2012, 05:17 AM

January 9, 2011

"God can't give you anything new until you let go of the old."

Oh how I love to hang on to what I think I know. I came into the program filled with opinions, ideas, resentments, attitudes, beliefs, etc., and even though many of them were literally killing me, I fiercely resisted letting them go. I was obstinate and defensive, but because I had hit a bottom, I was also willing to try something new.

That willingness was the crack in my personality through which God's energy and grace entered. I was taught that with willingness comes surrender, and one by one I began peeling back the layers of the onion that were my old ideas. As I uncovered, discovered and discarded them, God gave me new ways of looking at, thinking about and acting in my life. Slowly, a new man was being born.

What I have found over the years is that letting go is a constant and ongoing process. Each new relationship, job, situation or season brings me face to face with some old ideas or opinions that I've not examined yet. When I become stuck or unhappy these days, I now know to pray for the willingness to let go so God can give me something new.

Today, I'm not as resistant to let go because I know that God always has something better for me.

**yukonm** · 01-18-2012, 06:29 AM

January 17, 2011

"Directions to recovery: Just go straight to hell and make a U-turn."

When I was new to the program, I heard a word I didn't know the definition of. The word was perdition. As the fog began to clear my, sponsor recommended I look it up, and when I read its meaning I knew it accurately described my state of being - perdition means complete spiritual bankruptcy.

During the final dark months and days of my drinking and using, one by one, I abandoned my self-respect, my self-care, and ultimately the light of my spirit. I was on the way to a private hell where hope and life itself would soon disappear forever. In a desperate moment a part of me reached out for help, and I made the u-turn that led me to recovery.

The miracle that I found in recovery is the miracle that awaits us all - no matter how far down we have fallen, no matter the state of perdition or the depths of hell into which we have descended, we will recovery if we are willing to work the steps. And when we do, we will find that the very experience that nearly took our lives enables us, over time, to help and save another. This is the enduring miracle that is available to all who keep coming back.

No matter what, don't leave before the miracle happens for you, too.

**yukonm** · 01-25-2012, 01:58 PM

January 23, 2012

"For every nut in the program, there is a bolt."

When I first entered the rooms of recovery, I was a little taken aback by some of the strange characters I heard share. Some had been to prison; some had lived on the streets; some had been prostitutes; some were ex-gangsters, and some were still pretty crazy. "These people have nothing in common with me," I told my sponsor. "How are they going to help me get sober?"

"Some of these people may not be able to help you directly," he said. "But the fact that they can get this thing and stay sober shows that you can, too." I saw his point. "Besides that," he continued, "even if they don't have the exact experience you've had, there will be someone else who will. No matter what's going on with you, there will always be somebody who has the experience, strength and hope you'll need.

Over the years, I've found this to be so true. One of the things I've learned to count on is that there always is someone who can help me regardless of what I've been or are going through. This has taught me the value of everyone in the program - not just those that I can identify with.

Now I know that there is a bolt for every nut in the program - even me!

***Chy*** · 02-05-2012, 04:01 PM

"For every nut in the program, there is a bolt."

When I first entered the rooms of recovery, I was a little taken aback by some of the strange characters I heard share. Some had been to prison; some had lived on the streets; some had been prostitutes; some were ex-gangsters, and some were still pretty crazy. "These people have nothing in common with me," I told my sponsor. "How are they going to help me get sober?"

"Some of these people may not be able to help you directly," he said. "But the fact that they can get this thing and stay sober shows that you can, too." I saw his point. "Besides that," he continued, "even if they don't have the exact experience you've had, there will be someone else who will. No matter what's going on with you, there will always be somebody who has the experience, strength and hope you'll need.

Over the years, I've found this to be so true. One of the things I've learned to count on is that there always is someone who can help me regardless of what I've been or are going through. This has taught me the value of everyone in the program - not just those that I can identify with.

Now I know that there is a bolt for every nut in the program - even me!

***Chy*** · 02-10-2012, 07:09 PM

"Anger is one letter away from Danger"

When I came into the program I was so angry, but I didn't realize how much. For years I had used drugs and alcohol to numb these feelings, to manage and hide them. When these were taken way, my anger quickly turned to rage, and I soon found that I had turned much of this rage inward. In fact today I still believe that a core characteristic of alcoholism is self-loathing.

Thank God for the Steps. By working the 12 Steps I learned to forgive others and myself, take responsibility for my part, and I learned how to surrender to a Higher Power. Slowly I began to release a lot of the shame and resentment that made up a lot of my rage.

But I still get angry sometimes. And these days I've learned that when I do get angry, I'm still in danger of turning it inward and acting in self-destructive ways. I'm quick to isolate and grow more depressed, to tell someone off and create resentments, or even to eat too much and go into self-loathing. Thankfully today I've learned to acknowledge and deal with my anger before it turns into rage.

Today I realize that anger is one letter away from danger.

:: Wisdom of the Rooms ::

**yukonm** · 02-15-2012, 12:45 PM

February 13, 2012

"My sanity today is directly proportional to my honesty."

Before recovery it was hard to keep my story straight. As my drinking and using increased, my omissions turned into half-truths, and these turned into little white lies. After a while I couldn't recognize the truth anymore and as I became disconnected from people and myself, my very reality changed and my sanity disappeared.

As I began to get sober, I started in on the overwhelming task of unraveling the massive knot of lies, stories and deceptive behavior I had engaged in. I felt shame, anger, and remorse as I painfully made my way back to the true self that had been buried beneath the disease of alcoholism.

The road back to sanity began with the words "rigorous honesty." Although seemingly straight forward, the challenge I had was in coming to believe that of myself I was enough, and that if I spoke my truth I would be accepted. The miracle is that the truth actually did set me free, and today the more honest I am, the more peaceful and serene I become.

Today, my sanity truly is directly proportional to my honesty.

**yukonm** · 02-29-2012, 09:16 AM

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

February 27, 2012

"I leared to stop trying hard, and learn to try different."

We alcoholics are a stubborn lot. When I entered the program, there was only one way to do something - my way. And if that didn't work I would just try harder. Bolstered by a seemingly limitless supply of self-will, I was convinced that I could and would get something I wanted. Exhausting though it may have been (for me and those around me) sometimes I even succeeded.

When I entered the program, I was told I needed to change my thinking and abandon my old ideas. While I changed some of them, I still thought that my will, my determination, and my way of doing and getting things would still work. I tried hard to let go, and when that didn't work, I tried harder. In recovery, though, my tolerance for pain isn't as high and I feel the affects of trying hard much sooner, and, more importantly, recovery shows me that there might be another way.

When my sponsor first suggested that I pray about a problem or situation, and then turn it over to my Higher Power, I first thought, "Well that's not going to work. I've got to ..." When I tried it I found that it did work, and over the years I've discovered many other ways of handling things. Now when I'm struggling with a problem or situation, I stop trying so hard, and I try different. And it works (when I work it!).

**yukonm** · 03-14-2012, 09:49 AM

March 12, 2012

"Three most dangerous words for an alcoholic:
'I've been thinking.'"

It took me a long time to learn that my head isn't my friend. For years I heard it was best to run my thinking by others, but I secretly never believed it. My head would always convince me it had a better idea, and time and time again I followed its advice. It almost always turned out bad.

After many more bottoms, I finally became willing to check in more with others. It was hard at first because I was sure I wouldn't like what I heard, but once again contrary action saved the day. After listening to and following others suggestions, my life actually began to get better.

What's so interesting is that today, even with years of experience doing this, my head still tries to convince me to follow its advice. I know better than to listen to it (most of the time), and I will forever be grateful for my sober experience and the loving support of the fellowship.

Today, though, I still know the three most dangerous words for me are: "I've been thinking."

**yukonm** · 03-21-2012, 09:22 AM

March 19, 2012

Quote of the Week

"You're exactly where you're supposed to be."

For as long as I can remember, I've been unhappy where I was and wished I was somewhere else. In school I always wanted to be in the next grade; at work I wanted a more senior position making more money; when I bought my first home, I quickly wanted one with a pool. When I entered recovery, I brought this same impatience and unhappiness into the rooms with me.

I remember complaining to my sponsor after a few months that things hadn't gotten better, and that I even felt worse. He listened patiently and then said, "You're exactly where you're supposed to be." This didn't make sense to me, and as my life continued to unravel and as I grew more frustrated, irritated and angry, I kept complaining. His answer remained the same, and it took years before I finally understood what he meant.

One of the most important things I've learned in recovery is that accepting where I am physically, emotionally and spiritually is the necessary key to changing it. Once I stop resenting how things are or wishing they were different, I can begin working with God to make them better. But it all begins with acceptance of where I am right now.

Today I know that I'm exactly where I should be, and I know how to make it better.

***Chy*** · 03-27-2012, 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yukonm

March 12, 2012

"Three most dangerous words for an alcoholic:
'I've been thinking.'"

It took me a long time to learn that my head isn't my friend. For years I heard it was best to run my thinking by others, but I secretly never believed it. My head would always convince me it had a better idea, and time and time again I followed its advice. It almost always turned out bad.

After many more bottoms, I finally became willing to check in more with others. It was hard at first because I was sure I wouldn't like what I heard, but once again contrary action saved the day. After listening to and following others suggestions, my life actually began to get better.

What's so interesting is that today, even with years of experience doing this, my head still tries to convince me to follow its advice. I know better than to listen to it (most of the time), and I will forever be grateful for my sober experience and the loving support of the fellowship.

Today, though, I still know the three most dangerous words for me are: "I've been thinking."

This still where I am at! Like Whoa!

**yukonm** · 04-11-2012, 07:06 AM

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

April 9, 2012

"If you don't have hope then death is a formality."

Before recovery, my life was spiraling out of control and each area just got worse and worse. I had lost my job; my relationships had all but ended, and I had lost hope of my future ever getting better. In some of the darker hours, death didn't seem so bad... For a while, the only glimmer of hope I had came from the first few drinks I took. This instant euphoria didn't last, however, and soon I was once again mired in the pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization of my alcoholic bottom. It wasn't until I finally surrendered that real hope began to return. I first saw this hope on the faces of people in meetings, and I heard it in their stories and witnessed it in the miracles taking place in their lives. Soon I believed there was a miracle waiting for me, too, and after a while I found that hope had returned, and I had begun to live again. Today I have a healthy fear of death again, and I try to pack as much into the stream of life as I can.

**yukonm** · 04-18-2012, 07:46 AM

April 16, 2012

Quote of the Week

"Don't take yourself so damn seriously!"

When I came into the program, everything was a big deal, and I was very serious. My finances, my future, my wreaked relationships - everything was overwhelming. I remember attending meetings and hearing the laughter and thinking, "What's so damn funny? The only reason we're here is because our lives suck!" It took me quite a while before I could join in with that laughter, and the moment I did my life began to change.

As I got further into the program, that sense of impending doom began to dissipate, and I felt like I could breathe again. The secrets and shame I had hidden so long began to come out, and as I shared what was inside me with others, I began to feel lighter. I began to laugh more at myself and with others, and I finally began to feel human and a part of again. Most of all, I started to realize what was truly important.

Today I know that the future will take care of itself if I take care of today. I now have faith that there is a God working in my life and that even if things don't go my way, that's not only OK, it often turns out for the better. Today, money isn't as important as relationships, and the only thing that really matters is health and sobriety.

Today I've learned to live life on life's terms and, most of all, not to take myself so damn seriously.

**yukonm** · 04-24-2012, 07:27 AM

April 23, 2012

Quote of the Week

"If nothing changes, nothing changes."

In early recovery I heard someone say that, "If you get a horse thief sober, all you have is a sober horse thief." I learned that the 12-step program is a program of recovery because it is a program of change. Just getting sober isn't enough. I have known many people who came into the program and stopped drinking but either delayed or didn't work the steps, and they soon found that they still had all the old problems, feelings and circumstances they had while drinking. Besides not drinking, not much had changed.

"The same man will drink again." Another saying I heard when I was new reveals yet another danger of not working the steps and so not changing. Driven and haunted by the pain of the old self, it is a short distance to the temporary relief and old solution of drinking. Once again, if nothing changes (besides not picking up a drink), nothing changes, and the same man will soon drink again.

"The only thing we have to change is everything." The miracle of the program comes as we work the steps, abandon our old ideas, and discard our old self. The big book tells us that we become "reborn" as a result of working the steps, and it is this new self that is capable of living a new life that is happy, joyous and free. The good news is that this total change is much easier than it sounds and a natural result of working the steps. Ultimately, everything changes as we change.

**yukonm** · 04-30-2012, 08:26 PM

April 30, 2012

Quote of the Week

"If I'm not the problem, then there is no solution."

When I came into the program, I had a lot of problems and most of them were your fault. My girlfriend didn't understand me; my boss didn't appreciate me; the police didn't like it when I drove after just a few drinks (I was fine!), and on and on. If everyone would just get off my back, then I'd be fine I thought.

When I began working my program, I was introduced to the 4th Step - made a searching and fearless moral inventory - and my sponsor showed me how to make a list of all the persons and institutions I resented. Finally I could put down on paper and document how I had been wronged. Perfect! I thought. But then he slipped in a fourth column called, "My Part", and told me to document my role in all my resentments and interactions.

Now that was a tough pill to swallow. With his help though, and a willingness to be fearless and thorough, I was able to see that I did have a part in them all. And what a gift that turned out to be! I discovered that if it was all your fault - and I certainly couldn't control or change you - then I would forever be a victim and nothing would change. But if I took responsibility for my part - which was something I could control and change - then I was released from the bondage of resentment and was finally free to live a new and better life. Thank God!

Today I understand the wisdom in the quote: "If I'm not the problem, then there is no solution."

**yukonm** · Today, 10:37 AM

May 14, 2012

"The longer I'm sober, the drunker I was."

Denial is an amazing thing. When I first entered the program, I had no intention of staying sober longer than a few months; I just needed to pull things together a little, get myself under control again. I wasn't like the real alcoholics I heard share in meetings, and I was sure I could control my drinking again once I cooled it a bit. After all, it hadn't been that bad I told myself.

As the fog cleared, though, and I began journaling and working the steps, more began to be revealed to me. I especially remember sitting in meetings listening to people share about being arrested for drunk driving and thinking that never happened to me. I was sober over a year before I remembered that when I was seventeen I crashed my car into two parked cars and was arrested for reckless drunk driving. That was a humbling memory...

As I peel back the layers of my past and uncover the truth about my drinking and using history, I'm amazed at how lucky I've been. I've heard that prisons are packed with alcoholics and addicts who never found sobriety, and I now know I could easily have been one of them.

Today my denial is gone and the longer I stay sober, the drunker I realize I was.

01-04-2012, 07:09 PM	#1
yukonm Senior Moderator Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 6,851 Thanks: 3,992 Thanked 6,575 Times in 4,816 Posts My Mood:	Wisdom of the Rooms (Weekly)- 2012 January 3, 2012 "God handed me the menu. He didn't tell me to choose the shit sandwich." This quote seemed appropriate for the New Year because it reminds me that in recovery, with a relationship with a Higher Power, I have a world of opportunities open to me. In meetings every week I hear others share about going back to school, or changing careers, or starting a family - all miracles of recovery and all part of the new life available through the program. This quote also reminds me that while there are many new and wondrous opportunities available, it is still up to me to choose the right path. Do I choose to work my program today, to turn my will and my life over and pray for and try to do God's will? Or do I stay isolated, not go to a meeting, drink too much coffee and spend my time regretting the past and fearing the future? What do I do with the menu God gives me each day? As I look towards the New Year ahead, I have an overwhelming feeling of possibility and hope as I acknowledge with gratitude the new menu of life I've been given in recovery. I make resolutions to make better choices, and I ask God to guide me and to release me from the character defects that lead me to reach for the wrong kind of sandwich. Today I will use my power of choice to make this year the best one yet.

02-05-2012, 04:01 PM	#5
*Chy* Recovery Wench Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: El Paso, Texas Posts: 956 Thanks: 622 Thanked 957 Times in 611 Posts My Mood:	"For every nut in the program, there is a bolt." When I first entered the rooms of recovery, I was a little taken aback by some of the strange characters I heard share. Some had been to prison; some had lived on the streets; some had been prostitutes; some were ex-gangsters, and some were still pretty crazy. "These people have nothing in common with me," I told my sponsor. "How are they going to help me get sober?" "Some of these people may not be able to help you directly," he said. "But the fact that they can get this thing and stay sober shows that you can, too." I saw his point. "Besides that," he continued, "even if they don't have the exact experience you've had, there will be someone else who will. No matter what's going on with you, there will always be somebody who has the experience, strength and hope you'll need. Over the years, I've found this to be so true. One of the things I've learned to count on is that there always is someone who can help me regardless of what I've been or are going through. This has taught me the value of everyone in the program - not just those that I can identify with. Now I know that there is a bolt for every nut in the program - even me! __________________ The Addicts Guide

02-10-2012, 07:09 PM	#6
*Chy* Recovery Wench Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: El Paso, Texas Posts: 956 Thanks: 622 Thanked 957 Times in 611 Posts My Mood:	"Anger is one letter away from Danger" When I came into the program I was so angry, but I didn't realize how much. For years I had used drugs and alcohol to numb these feelings, to manage and hide them. When these were taken way, my anger quickly turned to rage, and I soon found that I had turned much of this rage inward. In fact today I still believe that a core characteristic of alcoholism is self-loathing. Thank God for the Steps. By working the 12 Steps I learned to forgive others and myself, take responsibility for my part, and I learned how to surrender to a Higher Power. Slowly I began to release a lot of the shame and resentment that made up a lot of my rage. But I still get angry sometimes. And these days I've learned that when I do get angry, I'm still in danger of turning it inward and acting in self-destructive ways. I'm quick to isolate and grow more depressed, to tell someone off and create resentments, or even to eat too much and go into self-loathing. Thankfully today I've learned to acknowledge and deal with my anger before it turns into rage. Today I realize that anger is one letter away from danger. :: Wisdom of the Rooms :: __________________ The Addicts Guide

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Messages:

01-11-2012, 05:17 AM	#2
yukonm Senior Moderator Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 6,851 Thanks: 3,992 Thanked 6,575 Times in 4,816 Posts My Mood:	January 9, 2011 "God can't give you anything new until you let go of the old." Oh how I love to hang on to what I think I know. I came into the program filled with opinions, ideas, resentments, attitudes, beliefs, etc., and even though many of them were literally killing me, I fiercely resisted letting them go. I was obstinate and defensive, but because I had hit a bottom, I was also willing to try something new. That willingness was the crack in my personality through which God's energy and grace entered. I was taught that with willingness comes surrender, and one by one I began peeling back the layers of the onion that were my old ideas. As I uncovered, discovered and discarded them, God gave me new ways of looking at, thinking about and acting in my life. Slowly, a new man was being born. What I have found over the years is that letting go is a constant and ongoing process. Each new relationship, job, situation or season brings me face to face with some old ideas or opinions that I've not examined yet. When I become stuck or unhappy these days, I now know to pray for the willingness to let go so God can give me something new. Today, I'm not as resistant to let go because I know that God always has something better for me.

01-18-2012, 06:29 AM	#3
yukonm Senior Moderator Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 6,851 Thanks: 3,992 Thanked 6,575 Times in 4,816 Posts My Mood:	January 17, 2011 "Directions to recovery: Just go straight to hell and make a U-turn." When I was new to the program, I heard a word I didn't know the definition of. The word was perdition. As the fog began to clear my, sponsor recommended I look it up, and when I read its meaning I knew it accurately described my state of being - perdition means complete spiritual bankruptcy. During the final dark months and days of my drinking and using, one by one, I abandoned my self-respect, my self-care, and ultimately the light of my spirit. I was on the way to a private hell where hope and life itself would soon disappear forever. In a desperate moment a part of me reached out for help, and I made the u-turn that led me to recovery. The miracle that I found in recovery is the miracle that awaits us all - no matter how far down we have fallen, no matter the state of perdition or the depths of hell into which we have descended, we will recovery if we are willing to work the steps. And when we do, we will find that the very experience that nearly took our lives enables us, over time, to help and save another. This is the enduring miracle that is available to all who keep coming back. No matter what, don't leave before the miracle happens for you, too.

01-25-2012, 01:58 PM	#4
yukonm Senior Moderator Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 6,851 Thanks: 3,992 Thanked 6,575 Times in 4,816 Posts My Mood:	January 23, 2012 "For every nut in the program, there is a bolt." When I first entered the rooms of recovery, I was a little taken aback by some of the strange characters I heard share. Some had been to prison; some had lived on the streets; some had been prostitutes; some were ex-gangsters, and some were still pretty crazy. "These people have nothing in common with me," I told my sponsor. "How are they going to help me get sober?" "Some of these people may not be able to help you directly," he said. "But the fact that they can get this thing and stay sober shows that you can, too." I saw his point. "Besides that," he continued, "even if they don't have the exact experience you've had, there will be someone else who will. No matter what's going on with you, there will always be somebody who has the experience, strength and hope you'll need. Over the years, I've found this to be so true. One of the things I've learned to count on is that there always is someone who can help me regardless of what I've been or are going through. This has taught me the value of everyone in the program - not just those that I can identify with. Now I know that there is a bolt for every nut in the program - even me!

02-15-2012, 12:45 PM	#7
yukonm Senior Moderator Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 6,851 Thanks: 3,992 Thanked 6,575 Times in 4,816 Posts My Mood:	February 13, 2012 "My sanity today is directly proportional to my honesty." Before recovery it was hard to keep my story straight. As my drinking and using increased, my omissions turned into half-truths, and these turned into little white lies. After a while I couldn't recognize the truth anymore and as I became disconnected from people and myself, my very reality changed and my sanity disappeared. As I began to get sober, I started in on the overwhelming task of unraveling the massive knot of lies, stories and deceptive behavior I had engaged in. I felt shame, anger, and remorse as I painfully made my way back to the true self that had been buried beneath the disease of alcoholism. The road back to sanity began with the words "rigorous honesty." Although seemingly straight forward, the challenge I had was in coming to believe that of myself I was enough, and that if I spoke my truth I would be accepted. The miracle is that the truth actually did set me free, and today the more honest I am, the more peaceful and serene I become. Today, my sanity truly is directly proportional to my honesty.

02-29-2012, 09:16 AM	#8
yukonm Senior Moderator Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 6,851 Thanks: 3,992 Thanked 6,575 Times in 4,816 Posts My Mood:	QUOTE OF THE WEEK February 27, 2012 "I leared to stop trying hard, and learn to try different." We alcoholics are a stubborn lot. When I entered the program, there was only one way to do something - my way. And if that didn't work I would just try harder. Bolstered by a seemingly limitless supply of self-will, I was convinced that I could and would get something I wanted. Exhausting though it may have been (for me and those around me) sometimes I even succeeded. When I entered the program, I was told I needed to change my thinking and abandon my old ideas. While I changed some of them, I still thought that my will, my determination, and my way of doing and getting things would still work. I tried hard to let go, and when that didn't work, I tried harder. In recovery, though, my tolerance for pain isn't as high and I feel the affects of trying hard much sooner, and, more importantly, recovery shows me that there might be another way. When my sponsor first suggested that I pray about a problem or situation, and then turn it over to my Higher Power, I first thought, "Well that's not going to work. I've got to ..." When I tried it I found that it did work, and over the years I've discovered many other ways of handling things. Now when I'm struggling with a problem or situation, I stop trying so hard, and I try different. And it works (when I work it!).

03-14-2012, 09:49 AM	#9
yukonm Senior Moderator Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 6,851 Thanks: 3,992 Thanked 6,575 Times in 4,816 Posts My Mood:	March 12, 2012 "Three most dangerous words for an alcoholic: 'I've been thinking.'" It took me a long time to learn that my head isn't my friend. For years I heard it was best to run my thinking by others, but I secretly never believed it. My head would always convince me it had a better idea, and time and time again I followed its advice. It almost always turned out bad. After many more bottoms, I finally became willing to check in more with others. It was hard at first because I was sure I wouldn't like what I heard, but once again contrary action saved the day. After listening to and following others suggestions, my life actually began to get better. What's so interesting is that today, even with years of experience doing this, my head still tries to convince me to follow its advice. I know better than to listen to it (most of the time), and I will forever be grateful for my sober experience and the loving support of the fellowship. Today, though, I still know the three most dangerous words for me are: "I've been thinking."

03-21-2012, 09:22 AM	#10
yukonm Senior Moderator Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 6,851 Thanks: 3,992 Thanked 6,575 Times in 4,816 Posts My Mood:	March 19, 2012 Quote of the Week "You're exactly where you're supposed to be." For as long as I can remember, I've been unhappy where I was and wished I was somewhere else. In school I always wanted to be in the next grade; at work I wanted a more senior position making more money; when I bought my first home, I quickly wanted one with a pool. When I entered recovery, I brought this same impatience and unhappiness into the rooms with me. I remember complaining to my sponsor after a few months that things hadn't gotten better, and that I even felt worse. He listened patiently and then said, "You're exactly where you're supposed to be." This didn't make sense to me, and as my life continued to unravel and as I grew more frustrated, irritated and angry, I kept complaining. His answer remained the same, and it took years before I finally understood what he meant. One of the most important things I've learned in recovery is that accepting where I am physically, emotionally and spiritually is the necessary key to changing it. Once I stop resenting how things are or wishing they were different, I can begin working with God to make them better. But it all begins with acceptance of where I am right now. Today I know that I'm exactly where I should be, and I know how to make it better.

04-11-2012, 07:06 AM	#12
yukonm Senior Moderator Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 6,851 Thanks: 3,992 Thanked 6,575 Times in 4,816 Posts My Mood:	QUOTE OF THE WEEK April 9, 2012 "If you don't have hope then death is a formality." Before recovery, my life was spiraling out of control and each area just got worse and worse. I had lost my job; my relationships had all but ended, and I had lost hope of my future ever getting better. In some of the darker hours, death didn't seem so bad... For a while, the only glimmer of hope I had came from the first few drinks I took. This instant euphoria didn't last, however, and soon I was once again mired in the pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization of my alcoholic bottom. It wasn't until I finally surrendered that real hope began to return. I first saw this hope on the faces of people in meetings, and I heard it in their stories and witnessed it in the miracles taking place in their lives. Soon I believed there was a miracle waiting for me, too, and after a while I found that hope had returned, and I had begun to live again. Today I have a healthy fear of death again, and I try to pack as much into the stream of life as I can.

04-18-2012, 07:46 AM	#13
yukonm Senior Moderator Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 6,851 Thanks: 3,992 Thanked 6,575 Times in 4,816 Posts My Mood:	April 16, 2012 Quote of the Week "Don't take yourself so damn seriously!" When I came into the program, everything was a big deal, and I was very serious. My finances, my future, my wreaked relationships - everything was overwhelming. I remember attending meetings and hearing the laughter and thinking, "What's so damn funny? The only reason we're here is because our lives suck!" It took me quite a while before I could join in with that laughter, and the moment I did my life began to change. As I got further into the program, that sense of impending doom began to dissipate, and I felt like I could breathe again. The secrets and shame I had hidden so long began to come out, and as I shared what was inside me with others, I began to feel lighter. I began to laugh more at myself and with others, and I finally began to feel human and a part of again. Most of all, I started to realize what was truly important. Today I know that the future will take care of itself if I take care of today. I now have faith that there is a God working in my life and that even if things don't go my way, that's not only OK, it often turns out for the better. Today, money isn't as important as relationships, and the only thing that really matters is health and sobriety. Today I've learned to live life on life's terms and, most of all, not to take myself so damn seriously.

04-24-2012, 07:27 AM	#14
yukonm Senior Moderator Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 6,851 Thanks: 3,992 Thanked 6,575 Times in 4,816 Posts My Mood:	April 23, 2012 Quote of the Week "If nothing changes, nothing changes." In early recovery I heard someone say that, "If you get a horse thief sober, all you have is a sober horse thief." I learned that the 12-step program is a program of recovery because it is a program of change. Just getting sober isn't enough. I have known many people who came into the program and stopped drinking but either delayed or didn't work the steps, and they soon found that they still had all the old problems, feelings and circumstances they had while drinking. Besides not drinking, not much had changed. "The same man will drink again." Another saying I heard when I was new reveals yet another danger of not working the steps and so not changing. Driven and haunted by the pain of the old self, it is a short distance to the temporary relief and old solution of drinking. Once again, if nothing changes (besides not picking up a drink), nothing changes, and the same man will soon drink again. "The only thing we have to change is everything." The miracle of the program comes as we work the steps, abandon our old ideas, and discard our old self. The big book tells us that we become "reborn" as a result of working the steps, and it is this new self that is capable of living a new life that is happy, joyous and free. The good news is that this total change is much easier than it sounds and a natural result of working the steps. Ultimately, everything changes as we change.

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04-30-2012, 08:26 PM	#15
yukonm Senior Moderator Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 6,851 Thanks: 3,992 Thanked 6,575 Times in 4,816 Posts My Mood:	April 30, 2012 Quote of the Week "If I'm not the problem, then there is no solution." When I came into the program, I had a lot of problems and most of them were your fault. My girlfriend didn't understand me; my boss didn't appreciate me; the police didn't like it when I drove after just a few drinks (I was fine!), and on and on. If everyone would just get off my back, then I'd be fine I thought. When I began working my program, I was introduced to the 4th Step - made a searching and fearless moral inventory - and my sponsor showed me how to make a list of all the persons and institutions I resented. Finally I could put down on paper and document how I had been wronged. Perfect! I thought. But then he slipped in a fourth column called, "My Part", and told me to document my role in all my resentments and interactions. Now that was a tough pill to swallow. With his help though, and a willingness to be fearless and thorough, I was able to see that I did have a part in them all. And what a gift that turned out to be! I discovered that if it was all your fault - and I certainly couldn't control or change you - then I would forever be a victim and nothing would change. But if I took responsibility for my part - which was something I could control and change - then I was released from the bondage of resentment and was finally free to live a new and better life. Thank God! Today I understand the wisdom in the quote: "If I'm not the problem, then there is no solution."

Today, 10:37 AM	#16
yukonm Senior Moderator Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 6,851 Thanks: 3,992 Thanked 6,575 Times in 4,816 Posts My Mood:	May 14, 2012 "The longer I'm sober, the drunker I was." Denial is an amazing thing. When I first entered the program, I had no intention of staying sober longer than a few months; I just needed to pull things together a little, get myself under control again. I wasn't like the real alcoholics I heard share in meetings, and I was sure I could control my drinking again once I cooled it a bit. After all, it hadn't been that bad I told myself. As the fog cleared, though, and I began journaling and working the steps, more began to be revealed to me. I especially remember sitting in meetings listening to people share about being arrested for drunk driving and thinking that never happened to me. I was sober over a year before I remembered that when I was seventeen I crashed my car into two parked cars and was arrested for reckless drunk driving. That was a humbling memory... As I peel back the layers of my past and uncover the truth about my drinking and using history, I'm amazed at how lucky I've been. I've heard that prisons are packed with alcoholics and addicts who never found sobriety, and I now know I could easily have been one of them. Today my denial is gone and the longer I stay sober, the drunker I realize I was.